Track by track review cause boredom
By sorry ;_;
Ok so I’m bored and I’m going to do a track by track review of this jumbled mess, which it is, because literally none of the songs relate to each other.
1) The Greatest Show
Starts off promising, then turns into a weird mash of panic at the disco style auto tuned screamy vocals and emo lyrics. Remind me what this musical is about? Oh yeah, the circus. Not demonic rituals, nor as the chorus would suggest a primary school play. Weirdly I sort of like the ‘woah’ parts but the choir vocalisations in the background are super distracting.
2) Come Alive
Forgettable, as in I still don’t remember seeing it in the film. Has a weird quiet tone to it even though it’s supposed to be this loud Justin Timberlake rip-off type thing. Yeah, absolutely nothing like the first song and not in a good way. The kind of thing that would be played at the end of a low-budget animated kids’ film during the compulsory dance scene. There’s good reason for this because it sounds exactly like that song from the trolls movie. Cliche lyrics. Why wasn’t this song called ‘Eyes Wide Open’?
3) Rewrite The Stars
First of all, how do you actually rewrite the stars? They’re stars. They weren’t written in the first place. That’s not deep, it’s just lazy. I get the message behind it but it sounds like something that could easily be in High School Musical because, oh wait, they put Zac Efron in this film for...what reason? I guess it’s...nice, but in the same way that The Climb was nice. It’s this bland sort of pop ballad thing.
4) Never Enough
Why is it that the best song in this musical has to be sung by the villain? I’ve never heard of Loren Allred but she has a powerful voice, so it’s a shame the song was written with so many unnecessary high notes because more of a build-up would make it a powerful song. As it happens it’s pleasant but kind of exhausting.
5) From Now On
And here we have Hugh Jackman whisper-singing 5 feet from a microphone, again, which is far better than his fall out boy screeching. This one has pretty good lyrics and a nice piano track, so it’s a shame it turns into an auto tuned, breathy ‘finding myself’ mess backed by royalty free country music at about the halfway mark. I like the choir but Hugh Jackman repetitively fake-opera-singing through what sounds like a gunky throat is not fun.
6) Whoops, I Just Realised I Had My Phone On Shuffle So These Aren’t In Order (Never Enough Reprise)
Why did we need a never enough reprise again? That song went on for a little too long as it was. Maybe they took the title too literally. Ha ha. I’ll stop.
7) A Million Dreams
Ugh. I didn’t want to have to listen to this again, I really didn’t. What opens as this weird nasal kid voice singing a rip-off of Father and Son by Cat Stevens turns into this even weirder ballad with the laziest lyrics I’ve ever heard, the only saving grace of which is the accompanying film sequence which is quite cute. But get this - IT NEVER ENDS. The kid grows up into Hugh Jackman at his absolute singing worst, then he falls in love and his wife joins in with the song (fun fact: this would be the real PT Barnum’s second wife, so I guess they cut out a whole section), then just when you think it’s over THEIR KIDS HAVE TO GO AND START IT UP AGAIN OH MY GOD WHEN IS THIS THING OVER. The weirdest part is that PT is still in angry shouty fall out boy mode from the first song, so hearing him try to harmonise with his wife brings tears to your eyes for all the wrong reasons.
8) This Is Me
This song wastes the best, most genuine vocals and verse lyrics on an annoying chorus. The beat sounds like every other song with this message, a message that could have been done so much better if it hadn’t been taken so simplistically. It’s clearly been made to sell more copies rather than to fit the bearded lady’s specific situation, which I’d like to know more about - what about her struggle to get to this point? What about her anger towards Barnum at being imprisoned for years and forced to - oh wait, they left that part out of the film because their PT Barnum is a handsome, charming family man. Remind me whose story we’re supposed to be telling here?
Ah, my underrated favourite. Michelle Williams has quite a unique high-pitched voice that works with these lyrics, and guess what, they’re actually circus-related for the first time in this circus-related musical! As always it has to build up into a ballad, which is irritating because this would have worked so well as a quirky and quiet little song about love.
10) A Million Dreams Reprise
OH. NO. YOU. DIDN’T.
11) The Other Side
We conclude this patchwork of weird commercial songs with some kind of fall out boy meets high school musical thing? Eh, I don’t even know any more.